Life or Something Like It

I am terribly late for this meme but I can’t help it I am computer less at home which gives me the time to spend with family and do a little more chores than I usually did some time ago. I am getting used to this life bu I am missing blogging terribly. There is no other excuse for being away from here; everyone knows I am a blogging addict. If I don’t write words I am depressed and somehow speech and vocal communication is never my thing. I hope you missed me because they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder!’ **wink

As for Sunday Scribblings, it has prompted another smart prompt which is ‘Message’. I had to wonder a bit before getting into writing this post. I somehow have gathered so many messages over time which I am willing to share today so that everyone concerned knows how and what I feel. About time my opinion was taken into consideration. My message is not directed to people as such but yes they are what they are I cannot categorize them as I hate category and label. So here goes my mumbo jumbo for the start of this week, I will gladly await your word on my word!

A Message for Almighty:

O Allah! I ask For Your Love, the love of whoever loves You and the love of the deed which will draw me in attaining Your love

A Message for a lover:

I didn’t know how much I miss you and actually I deny when I say ‘I don’t like you’, from the core of my existence I too have a feeling God made me just for you. Love you honey!

A Message for DKNY ‘Be Delicious’:

I fall in love with you with every squirt and every pour, you make me feel sexy and so darn delicious, I owe at least 20% of my morning mood to you. Thank you!

A Message for my Hot water Gyser:

Seriously you are too hot for my liking. I do appreciate the warmth you have to shower me with but hey don’t burn me, I really like you so much and my mornings would not be the same without you.

A Message to my Mom:

If there is anyone I want to be, it is you. Of course I don’t want the husband you have or anyone like him but really it matters to me how grandpa has nourished you and nurtured you for the better of me and my sisters. I don’t express it much but I love you a lot more always.

A Message to my Dad:

Of course you are the best dad in the world and undeniably I don’t want that to change. Wanting a husband like you is like wanting another dad and I don’t want that ever. I do look up to you and I forever will but please do understand that your princess has to grow up and move far away but love doesn’t die ever.

A Message to my sisters:

You think you can be a mean machine and torture me off and on but dearies you do realize that the tough things have to go through me to get to you and that is why I will always guard you and fight with you if I have to, to keep harm away, miles away. You will not understand now, like I didn’t when mom and dad forbid me years ago but you will know in years to come, just know that I am always on your side.

A Message to my ex best friend:

I thought life could not go on without you but as unconditionally as I loved you, missing you has become a fair part of my being and I don’t even know if I miss you anymore. I think that is how God makes us adjust to things that don’t belong to our lives anymore. Yes I consider you as good as dead and I hope you rest in peace wherever you chose to be.

A Message to Macy’s bedspreads:

Oh how you turn me on like no man has ever. Really really! That satin and silk and that warmth and bliss, altogether just give me the passion and pleasures without missing on anything. Can I ask you if you could come down here in Pakistan so that I don’t have to miss out on you so much? Please!

A Message to my shower gel:

Whether you are Lux or Marks and Spencer or Victoria’s Secret or Body Shop, you just are my partner in love. Yes in all forms and every form you know me inside out. I love your touch and I love your foam, I just could not have bathed ever if I hadn’t known you now. Thank you for being my best friend.

A Message to Nokia E63:

Thank you for being so easy on my pockets or else I would have never been able to get me a decent phone. I love your numbers and clicks and how I don’t miss having a BB because you are just it. Red and Yummy and so Feminine, if they don’t see me and see you, they’ll know what I am based on the traits of you. Love you. Be safe.

A Message to 2010:

I have been looking at you since 2007. Something tells me you are just it, you are the reason I have been suffering, now can you answer all my pending questions and make up for the mess that has gathered in the past years. I am hopeful and I am not in doubt that you are not going to disappoint me or my family. I sure hope you realize your own worth, I am keeping my fingers crossed for mine.

A Message to Walkies:

Yes my regular footwear brand, I haven’t visited you since the start of this year and I am dying to check out the new stock. The ones I am using to date are quite ok in condition as I never abuse anything I use but I need to give it away and get me the new stuff. I hope prices haven’t gone up because I am really having a tough time managing my accounts since start of this year!

A Message to Clean n Clear:

I think it is time I parted ways with you. My skin is in horrible condition with countless pimples which keep getting on my nerves and I pop them because you can’t do anything about them, so much for cleaning and clearing the mess. Yes I will be looking towards Neutrogena :P

A Message for Pantene (Extra Milk):

Thank you for walking into my life, my hair feels wonderful and so full of life. I haven’t been using Pantene for the longest time because hair fall was happening 24/7, 365 days in the year but now I am back to you, so don’t disappoint me, I am having trouble with my skin but I don’t want to have any harm come close to my hair!

A Message to my girlfriends:

Yes I seem selfish and occupied but hey I have my reasons to not mingle with you all. I get too carried away in emotions and that is one door I am not ready to knock yet. I want to start the normal committed life in order for all things to fall in time and place. Most of you being married I am just a little out of place and I don’t feel sorry for me, just the time aint right, so please be nice.

A Message to my guy friends:

I am sorry I don’t meet you or greet you or have coffee with you. I so am not looking for casual hang outs one to one any more. It really makes me a bitch but I can’t help being one either. I am much too occupied with self and I want no foodings and outings at all, considering men actually take advantage and wrong perceptions of females who do that. I know what you are going to say but really... no thanks!

A Message to my husband to be:

I know who you are and what you are like but the sad bit is you have no means to do anything to get us together, I cant say I will wait for you because I cant overlook my parents love but just in case your saying ‘you’ll only be mine and no one else s’ comes true then jolly good! I so love you! Love you!

A Message to K Special:

You are such a revelation on a poor soul like me. I purchased your snack bars yesterday and I am so hyper already. 90 calories for lunch isn’t a bad deal at all, I need that energy to copy write and so I shall. Love your red berries cereal but looking out for more options as I am always open to it in terms of health and diet. Could you cut on the calories a little? That will be a huge favor.

A Message to Nestle Milkpak:

Boy o boy you are sure losing your flavor. I loved you so much, what is happening to you? Listen if you cant keep up with what you offered and promised in the first place I think I will have to cut you off and get someone better to have with my cereal especially. I am not a growing kid anymore but I am all about taste. So be tasty to me baby!

A Message to Nescafe:

Something is terribly wrong with me, I know I have been neglecting you since ex best friend’s departure but really I am not just being cruel for the sake of it, my pimples are giving me the creep and I am keeping away from caffeine as much as I can. But I miss you loads and I will drag you back in the best lattes I make. I owe it you and no denials about it.

A Message for Tapal Green Tea:

I love your 3 in 1 flavor (Jasmine, Elaichi and Lemon), who came up with that? Please convey my salutation and appreciation. I have you 5 times a day minimum and do I love it over regular ea or what! I hope as you promise you do, I am waiting to see remarkable weight loss owing to consuming you so much and so often. Don’t disappoint me and keep up the good work so far.

A Message for Hershey’s Kisses:

How delectable can you keep getting? So better than regular kisses and smoochies **wink. I just bough a pack a week ago and I am being a miser brat and not sharing it with anyone. You roll on my tongue like I love rolling on my satin sheets, baby you are 1 are made for each other for eternity!

A Message for VS:

My favorite brand of lingerie and nightwear, you I want for me and only me. Yes I am getting a little heavy but don’t you worry I will make me fit you and be as sexy as I have always been. Sure you’ve helped me realize I am my favorite person. I love me and I just can’t ever have enough of me. Can I have something really gorgeous off sales? Pretty please!

A Message for M.A.C.:

I have so much in stock and yet I am hungry to spend more on you. Yes that is the inspiration and that is the tick which is making me all hyper about setting my own brand soon. No I will not compete you because nothing beats you, I have and always be loyal to you. Yes yes! Be mine! All mine!

A Message for Boss:

Come on now I need a big raise. I really need that push again to work and get things done. Sure things seem a little low and off but it isn’t always going to be like this, God willing! Please hear me on this and provide me with at least 30K PKR **sniff sniff!

A Message for Work:

As much I love working and being occupied, I love to have that ever after job for which I have everything in me. I have a resume which no one can beat with only one negative part, that being a fast ending marriage but that never the less puts me down, I am all up and about it and I want to start marriage-dom ASAP. Please hire me! Please hire me!

So much for the messages, I think I got toooooooooooooooooooo carried away. Yukh! See what you do to me? Being computer and cable less has really hit it off, all I do at work is blog and check blogs and Farmville and Café… I need to get back my system to have a good digestion, this cant work for too long.

You agree don’t you? Last but not the least,

A Message for My Yesterday:

You obviously were a part of me and you have played a part to play for making my today happen and I thank you for helping me go through much, I don't think it would be possible without your trust and confidence in me.

A Message for My Today:

Yes you are mad enough to not savor the breaths and life you have around while everything is being blown off around you. You think you deserve to die so soon? I don't think that is a possibility, since you have too much to accomplish and much further to go. Just take one step at a time and stop rushing, there is a huge traffic jam already!

A Message for My Tomorrow:

I can hardly wait for you to set in. I have it all planned and it is picture perfect. Yes the color is a little out here and there but no one says it is going to be perfect. And I am not looking for perfect, I am perfect, I just need the right setting to play it right. Come on in. I can't wait forever!

Check out The Colors Magazine for their new Show Your Best Contest. It is a series of contest looking for the Best Blog Post of the month. At the end of the year, the best post of the year will be chosen from the 12 monthly winners. Monthly winners will have their blog reviewed on The Colors Magazine site. Prizes for the year end winner will be announced at a later date.

Thank God I am on! Are you?

Yes I am sorry. For being away from my only addiction, Blogging!

Sure I miss it and you have no idea how much I crave to swim in a pool of words and spurt some freshness around me while I am at it. Obviously we are all part of some different addiction. I could have it for words when you could have for music or photography or something else. We all have a canvas we paint on and we keep a good habit of not neglecting it ever. I haven’t done photography ever but yes I do love every picture that speaks to me. I am not much of a talker and hence I use words to scribble and pictures snapped from different cameras as a base to justify my words. I am told my words do paint a picture for themselves. I have yet again participated in the Novelette contest and it’ll give me a great booster if you could vote and leave a comment about it. As mushy as always, please don’t get bored with the 14th February fragrance in the air. Yes I am in the mood to spurt some love. I haven’t come across breath taking romance yet but I am not giving up any hope. At least not until I find my craving done justice to. I am listening to some really heart-breaking music and no complains, I am not heart broken but I am all into the missing mania. I miss that which was and as human nature goes, I will miss it until I find a replacement for that feeling in a much better capacity than I had ever.

Did I tell you someone confessed love and marriage to me some years ago, even before I was married? Yes he said he is crazy about me and he wants me and needs me. I wasn’t much of a fan of long-distance relationship and I still am not. He is 4 years younger to me and even then he’d boss me around as if he was 4 years older. I liked how he had a control over me and my life. My morning could not start without his call and he just knew the words to make sense to me. Yes once upon a time I had a craving which only he could satisfy. I used to panic if he would not pick my calls, that much of a control, he had and I miss it all but I never speak to him again. He had sworn that he’ll make me his no matter how long it was to take destiny to decide. I had stopped talking to him because it just seemed a bunch of fake promises and something to hold on and pass time happily. It has been over a year now and as much as I hate to admit that I miss him, I miss everything we had. Out of all the people who ever confessed they had feelings for me, he meant it and I could feel it through the telephone line only. Met him only once and he called me after 15 minutes of the meeting to tell me that he wants to meet again. I couldn’t because I never was into dating and that one rule I didn’t break for anyone. I wish we could have our ever after together. It will be tough, because he is still studying and it has to go on for another 4-5 years and I am not sure if I am ready to be so dependant on anyone, even him. Every Valentines I am reminded how vacant my life has been forever. When I think love is coming my way and is to stay it just drains through some hole which I can’t ever watch out for.

No I will not make you sad. I hate sad memories. I like the recall of good joyful moments because it makes my heart jump still. Maybe in the ever after, in the next world I have a part of me and him, who loves me most tied together to stay together. Like they tell in movies and speak in books, if it is meant to be, nothing can stop it from happening. Some love stories just take an awful lot of time and in my case it just seems to never end. The wait is cool and all, as it gives me room to grow, but I do feel I have really grown a lot since the last spell. I have been vacant and wanting to fill the emptiness, satisfy the craving and make untamed love but does it all qualify me as a needful person for love and togetherness with someone who actually will raise me above the rest? Obviously the internet is the last place I’ll be searching or I am not searching at all. I dwell in my own self and I like how I have images which I share with no one. Yes love, I love love and that isn’t a craving, it just is a desperate state of my being. I am suffering from a mental illness which makes me want more and act less. I don’t cross boundaries or break rules to the extent that I have to be once bitten, twice shy. They bravely show of in the movies that a girl can date and sleep with a whole bunch of guys and eventually get her Mr. Right! I am of a traditional mindset. I don’t like sleeping around or loving around. It is my right to keep myself together and ready for the ONE! He might be out there screwing with the wrong kind and that should tempt you to poke me to do the same, but ‘as you sow so shall you reap’… I am pretty much ready to save for the best and not waste on some little pieces of crumbs that fate throws in my path.

It is a Monday morning and it did not start as I would have liked it to start. Obviously everything was fine until the car broke down in the middle of my way to work and hence I was 30 minutes late. Surely the 1st day of the month and the 1st day of the week has started late for me and that does spell the negative mantra for the next 28 days to come. God bless me.

The year did start very reasonably. Of course there was a whole bunch of milestone advertisements which I had to do copy for and then create and now Sunday Scribblings also wants me to put my stones together and create a milestone recall. I don’t make any sense till now do I? Well I am known to be such a wild horse. I jump from stone to stone and take my little chances to turn one and scream ‘Voila! a milestone!’ hahaha

So my copywriter job has bought me back the word ‘milestone’. It just couldn’t stay away from me for too long. I will deal with it in a way that you don’t lose interest in the read. I hope what I am doing will keep you hooked until the last word or full stop.

Through the 27 years of my life, so far, every year has had something, even if it is so minute that it could go unnoticed but then I have grown up haven’t I? Growth happens only in achievements and truly I have broken my own records year after year. I am happy to be alive. Yes! But the country I belong to has broken more records than me. I will make you familiar with alongside making myself more visible to you.

I was born on the 6th day of October in 1982, in some days Mom and Dad celebrated their first anniversary. I don’t recall much from that era with respect to the self achievement but my baby album tells me I started to say ‘mammma’ and ‘papa’ when I was almost turning one. That is an achievement because I hate to speak now, I like to watch and write and I prefer keeping my tongue tied. Yes label me anti social but that is how it goes.

1982: Pakistan built its first workable nuclear device. Yes an achievement for the first independent Muslim country on the globe of the world. Darn my year of birth was lucky.

As a one year old I was not much of an ass like most kids today but I had started to take pleasure in my own world with all the attention. I spent a lot of time with grandparents and was made familiar with uncles and aunts, who todate love me like they did then. So a milestone for that year was how I knew my recall was good. I could not forget. I was growing genius.

1983: First ever F-16 gets inducted in Pakistan Air Force (PAF)

Approaching my Third birthday, mommy was pregnant. I didn’t know what that meant and I was not ready for it, I fell sick twice that year and it was really bad because I was in need of too much attention. I clung onto daddy and learned how mattress wasn’t good enough for me and I wanted to sleep on his back all the time. I think that is how I developed liking for man scent :P yes I love daddy. Milestone for that year, a marvelous immunity to some very weird illness-ness!

1984: Pakistan won gold medal in the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Games in the men's hockey event beating Germany 2-1, becoming Olympic champions for the third time.

Ending of my 3rd birthday and stepping into 4 years of life, I had a cute little doll of a sister whom I could not stop mothering. No points for guessing why now I look like a mother fanatic. I so long to have a child of my own and since my sister’s birth I was always looking to take care of her, I had practiced a lot on my dolls. Milestone achievement, I was destined to be a mommy from when I was a child.

1985: Martial law and political parties ban lifted.-(8th amendment)

I had started Montessori and I didn’t like it because of some really rowdy kids there. There was a girl who always beat me up and took my lunch away from me. I was miserable, I had no clue what was happening to me but slowly I gave up resisting and handed over the material stuff without a scratch or fight. Milestone, I was always heartful and I knew that beating someone up was a crime so I never got into it in the first place.

1986: Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto's daughter Benazir returns from exile to lead PPP in campaign for fresh elections. Sure this sounds like an achievement doesn’t it? Especially when Martial Law had prevailed for so long, since 1977 I think.

My grandma use to walk me to Montessori and I always had an umbrella to keep the sun away. Talk about being so cautious of everything now and don’t blame anyone but her or rather I am grateful that she taught me how to be careful from such a tender age. I wore my first off shoulder dress on my fifth birthday and I charmed half of my class at the party. Oooh it was red. Milestone achieved, I knew how to check myself out in the mirror.

1987: Pakistan celebrates 40 years of independence. It survived so much of crap and it truly was then a marvel. Nothing survives after you rip it off persistently and give no room to grow.

We shifted localities and I had to join a school. I was almost 6 and a posh locality sure sounded so wow then. All away from the traffic and into the serene world. Seemed like a dream. Milestone, I got into a convent school and spent the next 11 years of my life there. I did not know then that it was an achievement but I felt proud at heart.

1988: I recall nothing spectacular from my country’s achievements except too much of killings and misery.

I will now skip years because this is becoming too long and too boring and anytime boss might call. So 1998…

In 1998, I was turning 16 and it seemed like a dream come true. I had a crush on a guy since grade 5 and it just grew and grew. Grade 11 was the last year in school and it sure was seeming like a hammer hitting my head, the thoughts that it was all going to end. 1999 was the last year at school and I had to grow up and decide what way to go. I had made the best friends in those years and to date they hop back in my life and scream at me just like they did then :) I miss them now. P.s. my academics were not so brilliant after grade 6. Something happened in my head and I just passed O levels decently without any Fs. Milestone: I passed! School finally Over!

1998: Pakistan carried out nuclear test in 28th may to become the seventh declared nuclear capable country and the first Muslim nation to do so.

Approaching 17th birthday I grew up in academics. I had joined college and was a little miserable because it was an all girls place and girls were really weird. I managed to pay a lot of attention and secure A grades all over. I made a comeback in academics that year and it was one hell of an achievement.

1999: my country was really miserable, especially after the defeat at Lords against Australia in the Cricket World Cup. Yukh!

Skipping years again.

My 27th birthday and guess what, I had achieved a little in the marriage department and a lover department. Of course it couldn’t last because I am meant for something better and much more fit for me, but then I am sour a little because it has taken me so long to get what I want and I still am struggling with the bits and pieces. This post ought to make you go bonkers and I am so sorry about that. After all I am 27 and that is a big digit especially if it comes to recalling bits from every year.

2009: So many bomb attacks, I so cant recall milestones!

Overall I have had my best moments which out weigh the sour ones and hence I remember the sour very few, but the best-est is yet to come. I am waiting with arms wide open and eyes shut tightly!

Have a lovely week ahead everyone. And I am so sorry for the longggggggggggggg post!

So can we say emotions are a bit too over-rated in us human beings? We just have to be hearty and smarty all the time and hence get squished often. Why is this heart such a big deal? Yes I m kidding me right now. I am so tired of having these nonsense aches. Wish I could be like the darn politicians of my country who eat off flesh and don’t even burp after that. Yukh! Puke! Puke!

So the 13 over-rated pieces for my Thursday 13 are as follows:








2. Food: I was not even familiar with the term “foodie” until I was 21. I wonder how and where do these foodies dwell because all I ever know is that food is required to live not vice versa. So many restaurants, selling the same stuff and yet so much competition and every place over flowing with people especially aunties going “this is not good for me, I should cut on these outings” and yet you find them everywhere. Why is food the only thing on your mind?



3. Cell-phone: “can I have your cell number?” is the question every freaking person asks you. It is like a name. They don’t ask for names anymore. They ask for numbers and that is how identities are made. I will be known by the digits I keep. If easy to memorize I am hip and happening, otherwise I am a rotten egg. Why o why, there was once a life not so tech happening and yet life was very happening. Every day a new model is in town and every day people buy new sim cards. What the hell!








4. Brands: honestly I go for the quality and never the name. I go to places where they sell unbranded because I hate the label on things I carry. I don’t leave my shoes open for people to peek and see, nor my purses have an huge name over powering everything else. So am I over-rating it or is it over-rated? Please don’t beat me you brand fanatics, I do wear Versace and DKNY but I don’t know how you can ask me that, it is my private thing you know.




5. PMSing: Indeed it is an excuse women have and use it to their benefit but why guys are so interested is beyond me. Everything from a little while to a loud cry is all blamed on ‘are you PMSing?’ no kidding, are you are teeny brained? Have you heard of moods? They aren’t always dependant on hormones, sometimes you tick me off!








6. Dogs and bitches: There is no end to this one. I was watching a movie the other day and every time she called him a dog, he called her bitch. So what is it? The new in thing is to not take names but be categorized into a single category? I am not going to understand it and I will not take the pains for it.







7. Label: I am not a very in person with curses and slangs and really idiotic words like ‘bastard and asshole’ maybe. Yes once in a while when I am really annoyed, but not everyone walking down the street has a label. They have their names and I don’t want to know them but for distinguishing I won’t even give then a label. Wonder what your label is ‘Angel face?’














8. Text messaging: Ahaaaa! I was once a freak and now I am back to sanity. I owe to best friend’s exit. Everything that is a quick phone call away is now text messaged and relied to on heavily. If you are late on a date “could you not have texted and told me you were running late?” and what is better is “you had a baby and you couldn’t text and tell?” lol










9. The good old days: Sigh and sigh and sigh! Yes I do it too. But then I slap me on my head and say what is so wrong with the present and the future to come. Really! Why do I keep myself in the old chapters and bring it up again and again just to annoy me. Go away I don’t like you and if you like me, leave me alone.






10. Proposals: “Oh tell tell how he did? What did he do?” no shit Sherlock but why in the world does it bother you how she felt special? Are you going to tell your BF about it? What annoys me is over-rated and this definitely is part of it. I am mushy but I have my own mush. Thank you!







11. Simplicity: keep it simple stupid, and catch no eye. Oh yes that is the plan behind it. Have you seen the glam sham on t.v.? that makeup clad woman who gets all the attention and the simple girl just sighing away? And then they keep telling you, be you and try not to be anyone; bottom line, get no man and I’ll get him instead. That is the plan I think. When I did not wear any makeup I swear I lived in inferiority complex. As a 16 ear old I was miserable living with dad’s ‘simplicity is a charm no one can harm’ and then came my own sense where I had to add a little blush, it just doesn’t work otherwise. Days when I am simple I am told ‘are you feeling okay?’ so now you will stop this simplicity boasting, right?






12. Coffee: everything happens over a cup of coffee. The first date and even a breakup. I love coffee and I have it when I make it, it is the best that way but why do they kill it by asking you out that way all the time? Is that how you break the ice? Pour some hot coffee? Whatever it is, it is flying right left and centre and I wish you could tell me, why you are killing coffee so bad when I make the most delicious cup when I want to!












13. Gyming: “sorry I have my gyming after school/ work/etc.” the excuse today isn’t another social meeting but the safe arms of gym. It is the haven for anyone who wants to make the deadliest impression. I have met so many of them that now I find it utterly boring when they make that statement. Okay so you exercise and love your body, I do too but I dare not boast about it in everything I say or do dude! Give me a break!






So how are you keeping up with me? Are you annoyed that I am not accepting anything common? Obviously, I am not common. When my boss tells to put me in a common man’s shoe, swear I don’t have any clue what he is talking about. I can never be common and I will die when I am that. Common sense is so uncommon and hence I am too. See I must be flying over your head now. Hehe I am loving this. I love the extraordinary-ness about myself. Yes I am my favorite person. Why shouldn’t I be, I am unique in all ways I count. You cant beat me :P you can’t over-rate me either! Haha!!

Have fun doodling or ogling **wink!

Of course women are known to contradict. It is everywhere in the world that they are driving men crazy. I am not into the fine, it is ok, whatever etc. sort of expressions and I don’t think any woman of my day and age is either. So as smart as I gab I smartly leave cues in all my statements. As men would want to think and re think a response I’d just sit and say it all. I say a lot and I mean a lot of what I say, but sometimes it just easier to say something and mean something much deeper. I wont say I say something and mean something else I aint psychotic but sure am a woman and my birth right is to speak what I should, whether man agrees or not. A one-liner will mean a one liner, it just isn’t shallow. Sadly men don’t given women enough time or else we are the best species to have as pals and mates!

I really mean: I don’t see you as a future husband; you are not the one I am looking for

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

I have had it.
Absolutely with everything that has to do with the word ‘Wait’. How can you be so mean to me O destiny? What have I done that I have not repented when wrong? How long does it take to forgive? You seem to rewrite the same future for me or else I’d see a spark somewhere.

Yes I am tired. Of the wait and the watch. I don’t like this game of being single and this is after two and a half years that I am still pleading in the tone I was, repenting and killing myself as I seek you to re-write some things which I want to have in my life. You took everything you had to away from me. My best friend, my husband, the life I desired to be a part of, yes thank you for leaving my family to me, knowing you, you could say I don’t have a right on them and hence you’d want to take them away too.

How far do I go on believing that ‘what happens always does for a reason’? I am starting to believe less in the time which has to come and the time which is now, is the forever I have to be partners with. Your sense of humor is really sick. Yes. Very very. I was alive and breathing only two and a half years ago. Today I am a dead body in a dead world, every day dragging to get on the next and so on and so forth. What is your dilemma? Am I not accomplished and deserving enough to have a happily ever after? I am much more dedicated and devoted as a woman and yet no man turns to my parents and says he wants to wed me? Sure I have had suitors and before they know me they disappear somewhere. But thank you for doing that, I am not into mamma’s boys anyway. Yes Yes! A man I need. Just a man. The man I have committed to in my head and head, the man I have pledged to stay loyal to and devote my life to. I hate my work; I don’t like it at all. Yes it is inspiring but my real work is to make a home and I haven’t found me that job yet. I am beginning to lose the thrill and the shrill. I don’t want to go out and I don’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend. All I want is a husband whom I’ll learn to love everyday of my life.

Yes it is 2010.

Yes another darn year.

Yes I was hoping for something to initiate in 2008 and 2009.

Somethings did seem like they were heading towards a start, but it never happened. My prince charming is just not here yet and I doubt he will be, January 2010 is almost ending. 1 down, 11 to go. The count down is giving me the shrieks again.

I’ll turn 28. I am obviously miserable because I had prayed and planned to at least have two kids by now. I don’t have a husband to start with. Oh yes I am whining and I am crying and no I don’t want just any shoulder to cry on. Yes I have my rules and my limitations and my set of beliefs. Yes I won’t give in anything unless I have a signed deed with me. I cannot trust anyone and I just cannot let anyone in. he has to take his chances like I will take with him. Yes I am selfish. I have had enough with losses to believe in anything ever again. I don’t want new friends, I don’t want new faces. Yes I want one new man who will be my best friend, my boyfriend, my love and so totally a complete package for a husband.

Yes I dislike working.

Yes marriage is one way to resign and get a new and permanent job.

Yes I like me very much.

Yes I know I will make the perfect wife.

Yes I am fit for perfect love.

Yes I have the skin to be a perfect mother.

Yes I will be my husband’s girlfriend.

Yes yes I am fit for the job.

Yes I am looking, but I am not looking for hits and misses.

Yes I am eager but not enough to jump in a puddle and fetch me a man.

Yes I like arranged marriages, love happens afterwards undoubtedly.

Yes I don’t like or approve of random friendship invites and I love yous.

Yes I have lost faith in the goodness of people.

Yes I hate to depend on just anyone.

Yes miracles do happen but in my case, they just don’t ever happen.

Yes love is all me, but he who loves me is not at all here.

Yes yes I have a 2010 lookout. But I am scared and definitely unsteady. I have been bouncing off many walls.

Yes, Sunday Scribblings always knows how to trigger my emotions and this is also one of those personal pours which happened on its own.

Yes please, criticize.

... I have trees shadowing the street and giving me a sense of serenity


... how much I want to play in a tub of water and let my feet soak for hours


... the treasures in my life. I have spent less hours acknowledging them


.. stilettos and that is the story of the day


... my morning cuddles with him; it was my daily doze of ecstasy


... to have lunch with my colleague which is a recipe for goodness already


... the various diet plans which has made me more conscious of what I eat


... to get the best vacation this year. It has been three years and I deserve it!


... I always have mushiness and random acts of romance


... that my Vitamic C intake has reduced so much and it is not doing my skin any good at all!




... I am always getting myself a cup of green tea every hour


... my best place is the view outside my window


… is flowers and I never get the pleasure of having them.


Once a friend surprised me and to date that is the only thing I hold dear

I am uselessly here on a Thursday. Yes I mean at work. I do feel great to be in the premises everyday but today when I am actually at peace I feel so horrible. I think that is what happens when you are assignment-less. The good thing is though that I have time to scribble my list for Thursday-13. I highly await Thursdays for various reasons and foremost is the reason to compile. I just had a subway sandwich which makes me high too with a sugar free drink; I will just call in the kitchen and ask for my routine green tea. I am quite expressionless today. Don’t feel great about how I am dressed or even the weather that is not too cold for a change. I am now wondering how this list and what this list is going to shape up to be. I know I should always ask you all for suggestions but then what good will it be, if I can’t surprise :)

So you are ready to roll with me?
Just a single word and my interpretation of it via visual. I am a little cosy when i look at meaningful pictures. It has this soothing effect on my senses. Too bad I don't own the camera which snaps such pieces whenever and wherever I want but one day I know I will :)

I call today’s Thursday-13, one word prompts. Very visual it will be and I hope you savor it just like me.